PAPER DREAMS

Poems written as part of the National Poetry Month Challenge 2024.

Timeline

Straddling two worlds separated by time, 
I wait for reality to sink in.
There is something ridiculous and soothing 
about this incessant rising and ebbing 
of tide and time.
Lulling us into making plans.
I stand and watch,
out of sync in this new world I inhabit, 
one without a timeline,
the foolishness that is a life plan.

Does the sun know it is going to be eclipsed?
Or does it become aware of the absence 
of its light 
only as the moon blocks it? Or, 
is the eclipse only a thing 
for us, the viewer, whereas for the sun 
it is just another moment of being.
A now,
and then another now, 
and then it is now.


Everything
every timeline squeezed 
into a flatline.

Embrace

I don't know if it is me, 
or, maybe you have felt it too... 
but when I am in a free fall 
or caught in the snare of bottomless fear, 
I am often held.

How do you describe an embrace 
full of warmth and acceptance, 
so full of what I can only call 
eternal protection?
How do you explain the feeling 
of being encircled by something 
you can't see but feel 
for years afterwards on your skin?
How does one put into words 
the weight of your daughter's arm 
hugging you from behind,
as you stand alone in an empty room?

I live in a liminal space – 
in both senses of the word, 
being embraced by love
even as I walk the streets of this earth.

Earthlings

The sun should be setting 
on us
a howling red 
to never rise again.
The waves towering sky high 
should have knocked everything 
to the ground 
to never rise again.
The flames enveloping the redwoods 
should have reduced us 
to ashes
to never rise again.
This grief, that rips and tears 
bleaching meaning out of life 
should have brought us to our knees 
to never rise again.
And yet...

We rise again.

Solitude

What do you do 
when words fall short 
and fail to do their job?
How do you comfort 
a partner
when you are broken too?
Locked into roles, 
separated by silence, 
we are often 
frozen in solitude.

House Plants

Ideally,
I would like to lie down 
under a great oak tree 
and listen in as its leaves whisper, 
its secret history, to the wind.
It would also be nice 
to sit and admire 
a rhododendron in full bloom 
chase away my gloom.
But for now,
I gently water 
my humble ivy and desert rose, 
and goad with whispered sweet nothings 
my houseplants who lend me 
their shade and flowering hope.

• Binu Sivan