Am I a stationery junkie? I am not sure if I am a full blown addict yet, but I have over the last two years been collecting different kinds of notebooks – the ones with embossed covers, the ones with fabric covers, the ones with paintings and arty photographs on some pages, and most special of them all the simple, elegant ones with pages after pages of blank lines for me to fill up. And now that my five year old is going to school, I have also started buying pencils, erasers, glue sticks and sharpeners like there is no tomorrow! And I love to look at them and smell them.
So should I go to rehab? Not sure there is one for stationery addiction. But I do know one thing I should absolutely do. Set aside my rather boring 2010 diary and use another notebook. The 2010 diary just seems to go on endlessly and I am tired of writing in it. I want to write in a new book with blank pages and endless possibilities. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the 2010 diary represents my life that was. Someone who was holding a stressful job and trying to be a good employee, an understanding wife and a brilliant mother. Someone who was reverting to comfort eating and bloating up and as a result having to watch her health go to the dogs. It took the very real scare of what turned out to be three benign fibroadenomas and an above normal triglyceride reading to make me face up to the fact that I needed to take a fresh look at life and my goals and priorities. The diary represents what was.
Today I am in a very different place. I am still working at being a more understanding human being, wife and mother. But the good thing is that I have said goodbye to a toxic job and taken responsibility for my eating habits and my health. And I want a new book, with blank pages for me to write on, to represent the me of today.
Of course, there is a stern voice in my head that is incredulous and asks me, “‘You are going to waste all those pages?” But just for once I am going to be decadent and spoil myself and say. “Yes. I am.” Stationery addict or not, one thing I don’t want to be addicted to is staying stationary.