PAPER DREAMS

It’s all done with. The IPL juggernaut has come, rolled all over my life and just as heartlessly left. CSK won. Good news for a Chennai-ite and Dhoni fan like me.  For 45 nerve wracking glorious days my evenings were spent in front of the idiot box screaming at Hayden to hit it! And on some occasions (read the final over of the CSK-KingsXI match) I kept running out of the room as my poor heart just could not handle the stress. And when Dhoni hit that six I did a jig that set my poor 4 year old back by a few months of emotional development. (And no we shall never ever refer to the other CSK-KingsXI super-over match again. It did not exist and if it did, then it has been wiped out off my memory bank.)
But what I do now? How many times can I watch a re-run of the semi finals and finals? And seriously I don’t want to know what Modi thinks about anything. And now I find it impossible to talk to my husband and child unless I can hear Ravi Shastri screaming ‘thaiyyar ho’ in the background.
The withdrawal symptoms are also getting progressively worse – the sudden urge to scream DLF maximum every time I hear a thud, the uncontrollable desire to crane my neck up and try and get a glimpse of the blimp (kind of difficult given that I stay in Dubai), the affinity for everything yellow (my husband refused to allow me to paint my Polo yellow), the impulse to create a spreadsheet with column one reading MI, DC, CSK, BRC… and worse of all, the habit that is driving my entire household stark raving crazy – my imitation of the IPL trumpet – hummed mostly out of tune.
Of course there is next year – but it is just not going to be the same. I just don’t see Amin hawking cricket’s soul with the same élan as Modi. No mistakes, he too will sell it. But the élan will be missing. The fashion show-parties will be missing (have always wondered if even a single cricketer placed an order for a dress with a designer!) and Nita Ambani will not sit in the dug-outs (damn I’ll miss her). And now that the Modi-version of IPL will be replaced by the Amin-version of it, will Sid Mallya be still interested in hanging out with his cronies at IPL, will the Maxx Mobile Time-out be replaced by a 2 minute FDCI documentary on Ranji Trophy’s history. And to top it BCCI is going on about transparency at IPL4. If it was Modi who had said it, I could have been sure that he was talking about the cheerleaders’ miniscule outfits, but now I am no longer sure. Needless to say IPL4 is eagerly awaited and not just for the cricket.
But until then there is the T20 World Cup. And it is when I think about the World Cup that I suddenly realize that at a deeper level I am glad the IPL is over. See, the best thing about the IPL ending is that my loyalties which were scattered all over the place have now all come together in to one common symbol – country and team. I no longer have to feel guilty as I cheer for Dougy Bollinger as he bowls to Bhajji. I no longer have to pray to God that Rohit Sharma gets caught and that Yuvi’s bad form lasts for one more game. And (may God forgive me) no more hoping that Sachin will get out soon. Go Team India!
Just wish someone out there was selling IPL addiction-weaning patches similar to those nicotine patches. Put it on your forehead and you will be able to get through the day without shouting ‘OUT!’